Amped Up

I was a little cranky with the service advisor while getting work done on my car this week.

The job was to install some protective film that was supposed to be on the car when I bought it, and so I was already frustrated I had to make a special trip to have it taken care of.

This film goes near the rear tires and is meant to protect the car from dirt and salt, and they told me this was considered a “waiting” service so they would not give me a loaner for it. The approximate time to do the service was listed as three hours.

What?

Have you ever been hostage at the car repair shop?

Yes, a first-world problem. But I had a call in a half hour and then three more hour-long Zooms after that, so I had no time to be sitting waiting for protective film (in fact, someone else might need some protective film pretty soon).

I was a little cranky.

I told him, “It’s unreasonable for this service to take three hours.” And, “This was supposed to be on the car when I bought it.” And, “I have to leave here no later than 12:30.”

He agreed, but then couldn’t quickly get an answer on how long it would take, so I finally said, “I’m going to go sit over there—let me know when you have an answer.”

A few minutes later, an older blond woman showed up. She was really mad. First, she was upset she couldn’t get into the bathroom. She said, “Now I have to have a key to get in the bathroom?” (I pointed out to her that it was locked because someone was in there.)

Then, there was also no creamer at the coffee station, which was an abomination. And when she finally did get into the bathroom, she said there was hardly any toilet paper. She insisted on seeing the service manager, and she dramatically recounted all of these shortfalls, finishing by saying, “You are all men, and you don’t bother to go check and see the condition of the women’s room.”

He was very patient. He said, "You are right, and I am sorry."

I wanted to go hug him.

It was clear she was already at a 9 when she walked in the door.

A client told me this a few weeks ago: It’s as if all of his customers are walking into his business already at an 8. That doesn’t leave a lot of wiggle room if the scale is 1 to 10.

Isn’t that where many of us are today?

Almost two years into this pandemic—cases dramatically on the rise, social, physical, and political pressure heightened—it’s putting most people on the edge.

The edge of what? Not exactly sure. But it’s the edge of something.

I have seen myself come in more at an 8 lately than I normally would—almost like I’m already steeled for battle in any situation. Someone described it recently as if we’re all walking around with invisible paper cuts and we don’t know they are there until we bump up against someone.

But another client told me a that when he had been confronted by a really angry person, he just kept thinking about giving kindness and love to everyone he meets.

Ahhh, kindness and love!

Kindness and love.

It’s so needed in those moments when we might already be at an 8: Those moments when expectations aren’t met, when someone behaves badly, when stress is on the rise, or when someone’s values conflict with our own.

In this season of forgiveness and rebirth, I’m going to notch myself down to a 3.

That’s my goal this week: Not a 1 (not sure I can get there), but a 3. I was probably at a 6 at the car place. And yet I know I can access a 3.

It's a de-ampification process, which is needed whenever being amped up does not serve me or anyone else.

And, thanks to my client, this will become my new mantra: Kindness and love, kindness and love. Giving it freely to everyone I meet along the way.