Spell This

Words cast a spell.

Hocus pocus. Here's how you spell bivouac.

I was Hillsboro County spelling bee champion once.

For the big win, I wore a maroon plaid skirt and matching vest and spelled my little heart out at the Elk's Lodge in Nashua. My mother had helped me study, using the small white booklet they gave us with ridiculous long lists of potential words. She would mark the pages with circles and check marks as she helped me study.

I gave about half of my heart to this intense pursuit.

It was so hard to learn all those crazy words. I still remember the words I got wrong other years: chary, hoyle. And I remember learning how to spell bivouac. I thought it was a cool word. It starts out sounding slightly dangerous, b-i-v, but then goes into a beautiful circle and lands in a surprising place.

Seriously, words do cast a spell. I just heard this concept in an episode of Chasing Excellencewith guest Mark England. He says that’s why they call it “spell-ing!”

Someone I know was spell-ing recently. He was going on and on about loud neighbors, that he and his roommate aren't jiving, and he’s not loving his dead-end job.

But this dear person was struggling, clinging to the story like it was the only life raft in his ocean. But he did not like being bounced about on these tumultuous waves.

After listening for a while, I asked him what I ask some of my coaching clients. All that may be true, I said. But what other story can you tell that is also true, but that may serve you more?

He looked at me, puzzled.

What is a story you can tell that's also true, but that will have a more useful spell on you? Such as, "I am getting closer all the time to what I need in a place I live. I am learning fast what I want in a job that will fulfill me."

There’s great power in writing down the better stories. You can write the stories that serve you more on a post-it on your computer monitor. Or say it as a mantra. Or write it in lipstick on your bathroom mirror. It's not lying to yourself, as long as these stories are also true. It's simply telling another version of the story that is also resonant but that will nudge you in the direction you want to go.

I just practiced this when I was describing my upcoming work travel to my hairdresser. Lots of crazy trips and activity in the next six weeks. But as I started to complain about how nutty it’s going to be, I stopped myself. I said to her, I’m going to tell myself a different story about this. I am going to say: I get to go some pretty cool places in the next month, and I will meet lots of cool people!

That's also true.

Mark England that language places us psychogeographically. I love that idea: What we say places us in a geography, meaning sometimes in a place where we have no power. A place where we might be off to the side, the victim, the person being done to. Or what we say may place us behind everyone else. As in, “You won’t believe what he did to me!”

England says that the definition of a spell is a word or combination of words that have a great influence.

What are the spells you are putting on yourself?

How are you influencing yourself in ways you may not want to?

I can help you notice those. Remember, I am a spelling champion.