Canceling Thanksgiving

I saw a map yesterday showing the percentage likelihood of getting exposed to COVID-19 on Thanksgiving if you participate of a gathering of more than 10 people. Internet memes advise that it’s better to have a Zoomsgiving than to spend Christmas in the hospital.

Needless to say, we are not doing our usual thing at my sister’s this year. So, last week I started scouring the Internet for places we could order Thanksgiving dinner. After finding several restaurants that had already sold out, I made an appointment to pick up our turkey and squash Wednesday night at Whole Foods.

(It’s worth noting that I have cooked a Thanksgiving meal exactly once—when I was 21, visiting my British boyfriend in the U.K. over the holidays and made a traditional Thanksgiving dinner for his friends. That event was traumatic in and of itself because their grocery stores at the time were nothing like the ones in the U.S. I struggled to find Pepperidge Farm seasoned bread cubes, which were the only way I knew how to make stuffing—forget finding extra-large Pearls to make my grandmother’s garlic olives. But they were all college guys and had low standards, so it turned out just fine.)

Earlier this week, one of my friends said, lamenting, “I’m so bummed about having to cancel Thanksgiving.” I feel this way too. The loss is a real thing—especially for those who are facing the holiday alone.

It’s easy to anticipate that the holidays in 2020 will be sucky. Likely no friend gatherings, no holiday parties, no potlucks. No getting together with family who we see only a few times a year.

COVID-19 has created a cruel vacuum, and people need to feel their own grief about it. But the situation also calls for a reframe—especially for those of us who live privileged in the free world.

The reframe: What if we don’t have to cancel Thanksgiving?

What if Thanksgiving is happening this way in order to teach us something that we couldn’t experience otherwise?

What if we can find connection to family in a new way?

What if circumstance will open our eyes to something we couldn’t see before?

The United Nations World Food program says the pandemic has doubled the number of people who are food insecure—from 135 million last year to 270 million now. The world has not seen this breakdown of food supplies and demand in 100 years. According to Feeding America, the 50 million people who are food insecure in the U.S. include 17 million children.

So, what if we think about and use this holiday in a different way than we might otherwise? What if we use it to reflect on three things:

1. What am I most grateful for?

2. What do others in my community need from me?

3. How do I want to show up throughout this coming holiday season?

Maybe my family and I will go on a cool trail hike on Thanksgiving. Or maybe we will actually watch the Macy’s parade, which we usually miss. Or what if we come up with a new family ritual starting in 2020? No better year than a pandemic to create something new.

I am most decidedly NOT cancelling Thanksgiving. I plan to sit with these questions while I am eating my favorite applesauce raspberry salad (which I WILL make)—and give in to whatever is to come.