Getting off the Rollercoaster

Anyone else ready to jump off?

2020 has been one dramatic ride. But unlike most rollercoasters, we have had no real shoulder restraints or safety bars. Just a lot of strong opinions circling, suffering and loss, angst and confusion, sprinkled with sporadic moments of peacefulness.

As challenging as this time has been, it’s also been a perfect practice field. In these moments, we have the opportunity to look deeply in the mirror at ourselves and each other. It's been a perfect time to see what we are made of.

What have I learned about myself through this time?

I have strong—almost unyielding—values. Like, whoa, watch out, primal values. And guess what? When my values don't align with others, I think mine are better. Doesn't everyone? As things heat up, I'm typically more interested in advocating for what I believe than in exploring what others deeply believe.

But holding too tight to our values can be a slippery slope. I once knew a guy who was accused of thinking he was right all the time, and he responded very seriously: “Sure, but if there are other views that are more right, I would hold those views.”

Touché. Don't we all sort of feel that way?

So what have you learned from these times about what you value most? What do you hold most dear? And where are you not willing to compromise?

I have also learned that I want everyone to get along. I deeply value harmony and connection. When there is misunderstanding, misinformation, and divisiveness, I want to jump in. I see part of my life purpose as connecting the unconnected. So I always seek to build bridges.

But some of these issues don't have resolution in the near term. And in driving for harmony, I can miss out on hearing all the voices. I may settle for surface-level agreement or overlook the most powerful learning.

Confrontation can actually help us learn more about who we are. And in these times, we can also learn how to be with the unsettled feeling that all is not congruent, and that people are in pain.

Where in life do you choose harmony and peace over courageous conversation? Or alternatively, when might you dive straight into conflict—sometimes leaving bodies in your wake?

The ultimate question I have been sitting with around my own values and harmony is: Are these my superpowers, or actually my kryptonite? They might be either, depending on the situation and how I am using them.

Looking back on this crazy roller coaster of 2020, I have come to one more conclusion: deep down, I am hopeful. One of my values is optimism. I believe in good. So I am focusing on expansion and possibility. I am seeking the grace that lives in everything, even this.